Signs of the Corporate Life

I'm lucky enough to not have suffered too much of the corporate lifestyle, however, every now and then corporate things creep in. These are things/habits that most are oblivious to, however, if you pause to think about life before cubicles, you'll soon realise some pretty silly things you now accept as second nature:

• You now regularly iron your cloths. Or better yet, you get them dry cleaned/pressed for you, if you value your time. This isn't odd, however, if you have a big night out on a week night, you make sure you wear the best pressed shirt you have the next day. I guess the theory here is that crisp collars distract from bloodshot eyes.
• You've become an airport connoisseur. Oftentimes, in casual conversation with colleagues, you compare airport experiences & predict the level of enjoyment you'll receive on your next business trip by discussing the pros and cons of the airports you'll visit. "At least I have a layover in Dubai, I can get all of my duty free shopping done and they even have mobile phone chargers!" Or-"I am not looking forward to my stop in LAX, I'm sure I'll have to hop terminals, go back through security, and then I'll have nothing better to do than buy $10 Budweiser drafts and watch time fly."
  
• To further the above, you also feel the need to express your expertise: "Don't go via La Guardia, JFK is much better, especially since they've just remodeled much of it."
• You often judge people on their elevator habits. You have the crowd who are allergic to stairs and take the elevator up 1 floor. Then, you have the others who have very little elevator etiquette. Either they face the wrong way, or they proceed to engage you in conversation when you clearly have your tunes blasting in your ears.
• You have 2 mobile phones. One is your ball & chain, the other is your outlet.
  
• Blackberries are out, iPhones are in, but you still probably have a work Blackberry. If this is the case, you and Brick Breaker have become BFF's. Sometimes you even pick up your colleague's Blackberry when they're not looking, and if you're lucky enough, it's unlocked and you can get a peak into their high scores. No judgment is complete without this piece of information. My personal best is 9750 (I know, very average).
  
• You think and speak in 3 month increments. "I'm looking forward to Q3, I'm taking 2 weeks off for a beach & umbrella drink break!"
• Often, instead of simply exchanging phone numbers with new people you meet, you flick them your business card. This is natural, as it's a lot easier, but it's still a sign.
• You now really understand the comedic irony behind "The Office" and "Office Space."
  
• VC operations, Non-profits, NGO's & boards are the rage, really.
  
• Filing expense reports to the uninitiated would sound great. You collect receipts, organise them, and get money back. However, you realise this is a chore that is saved for completion at the last possible moment.
• You lunch.
• Your vocabulary changes the most since you were in grammar school: "I have one ask of you," "Lets increase efficiencies," "I'm working hard to streamline our processes," "Lets take this offline." You get the point...
  
• If you drink, you claim to drink way less than you did in college, and you often make a point of that.
• Tangentially related to the above, you are well prepared for standard Monday morning small talk: colleague: "How was your weekend." you: "It was really good, a quiet one of course. I just wish it didn't go so fast!"